Euro 2012 - Part 1

Euro 2012 has, as you no doubt know, kicked off with two excellent matches, full of mistakes, stress, goals and people running about a lot. Much better than the bore draws we expected. There seems to be something in the footballing air this year - from the Premiership to the Champions League and beyond, crazy matches have resulted in exciting viewing. Long may this continue.

WHAT'S FOR DINNER MOTHER? MAGGOTS ON TOAST?!

Some gems from the first day, especially from ITV, where Peter Drury is in fine form as master of talking out of one's arse. Seeing Roy Keane and Patrick Viera sat next to each other is also greatly amusing, as is Adrian Chiles asking Viera if he's experienced any racisim so far - delightfully, Patrick doesn't gloss over the issues, and as good as admits live on air that he has. Wonderful.

Anyway, on to the chuff.

'They're going to sit back and let the French come on to them' - No, not English teenage girls on holiday in Paris, but the national team's supposed tactics.

 'He's free to pull a few strings' - He's a lazy bugger but he's good with the ball.

'Uncompromising' - A strong, bulldozerish, dirty player, fond of dumping other players on their arses with a shoulder barge to the back. The whole of the Greek team is 'Uncompromising'

'It's a tough group . . . well, I say tough, it's the easiest' - Mark Bright getting metaphysical on us

'Unbelivable support, as you would expect' - Surely in that case, it is only "believable" support then?

'He got sandwiched' - Not a dubious sexual manouever, but being tackled by two blokes at the same time. Fnar.

'He's like a diesal when he get's going!' - He's slow to start, especially in the cold, but will keep running and running once he's up to speed.

'That was an immediate indescretion' - A Russian player has fouled a Czech within 0.4 seconds of the kickoff.

'Once they got their noses in front, they didn't look back!' - That would be foolish!

'2-0 . . . at scorelines like that, the next goal is huge' - At other scorelines, goals don't matter.

'There's wind in the Czech sails!' - The Czech's have started to play quite well now. There are no boats involved.